Wednesday, December 1, 2010

How to Do Christmas Without Christmas Doing You?

I have a confession: I am a Scrooge. And a heathen. So it is twenty-some-odd days until Christmas and my Scroogy impulses are starting to rear their heads. Most modern Christmas carols leave me twitching and every Christmas movie ever made with the notable exception of White Christmas (crush on Danny Kaye), makes me want to pull out my spleen with a rusty shrimp fork. If I had to choose between sitting through Christmas movies or Twilight, I think it would be a toss-up. All this Christmas stuff starts around mid-November and by the time the actual day rolls around, I'm pretty darn near Christmased to death.

"But you can't be a Scrooge, you have kids." They peanut gallery likes to chant at me. Yes, I have kids. This is why I am a Scrooge. Christmas has become another monetary obligation. Another chore and duty as a parent. If not for my kids, I wouldn't even bother with the Christmas tree. Not only is it bad Feng Shui, but it's a pain.

Every year, I try to remember the magic of Christmas when I was a kid. The most I can come up with is excitement over the acquisition of a material object. Don't get me wrong, I totally appreciated all the gifts my parents gave me over the years. I also appreciate how hard they had to work for the money for those gifts.

Add to that years of working retail during the holidays and one can easily see why I'd just as soon leave off from this whole Christmas deal.

I realize this whole attitude is largely that: attitude. So, this year, instead of giving in to my Scroogy Heathen ways, I have decided to adopt a more... shall we say, accepting attitude towards Christmas. I would like to create some non-materialistic memories and traditions. I plan to take the kids shopping not for gifts for themselves, but for a charity. We might try making cookies (spelt and agave sweetened cookies in lieu of sugar cookies?hmm). And who knows, I might even dig around online and find some Elizabethan Christmas carols.

Don't expect me to watch the 25 days of Christmas movie marathon on the Family Channel nor sing anything, but maybe I can fake it at least until the Christmas spirit decides to land on me in some form or fashion. Here's hoping it doesn't knock me out.


  1. "Pull out my spleen with a rusty shrimp fork" -- brilliant!

    Also? I heart Danny Kaye as well. :)

    *soul sisters!*

  2. Soul sisters indeed, Awesome!! :0)
    and thanks!

  3. I have had many years of retail-induced Holiday Hating as well, though it's mostly faded at this point. That said, I love White Christmas! Watched is last year for the first time the day after Thanksgiving, when we put up the tree, decorated, drank cocoa, etc. Things have been a little more spread out this year, but today is White Christmas day, and we're stringing popcorn and drinking nog. (Rum-enhanced, natch.)